The Iraq KIA figures are supported by iCasualties.org, though I cannot determine what their sources are. A similar secondary source exists here, which provides data showing that 143 soldiers were killed in Iraq in 2009. The 149 figure is also supported here, though you have to register to see the sources.
A good primary resource put together by the CBO exists here, though specific numbers for the year in question are not provided.
The Defense Manpower Data Center is a good primary resource, which has a tool here that lists out total military deaths by year with a few of the major causes broken out, the data for 2009 is below:
Year Active Duty ... Total Deaths ... Self-Inflicted
2009 1,421,668 ... 1,515 ... 302
DMDC records 302 deaths that were self-inflicted in 2009, which is extremely close to the number claimed.
I think it should be noted that, according to the CBO report, 2009 in Iraq was 'post-surge', and represented a period of relative calm (just looking at the numbers, much lower KIA/wounded for coalition forces than the period before it), and at the same time Afghanistan was 'pre-surge' (or currently-surging, depending on how you wish to look at it) and much more dangerous, statistically speaking, than Iraq at the same time. So, while the claim is both fairly accurate and terrible in and of itself, it is ignoring deaths of military individuals in other theatres to make its point. It could just as easily make the same point by stating that in 2009, according to DoD, almost 20% of total deaths of military personnel were caused by suicide.
As far as 'Who Is A Soldier', the numbers claimed in the secondary sources make no distinction. DoD reports numbers for active duty, as well as activated National Guard and Reserve casualties from all 4 branches of the military. Defense contractor deaths are not counted in these numbers.