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I see many quotes affirming that Al Pacino once said

I asked God for a bike but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness.

However, I have never found this audio, soundtrack, movie clip or anything.

Is it true that Al Pacino said this?

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No, Al Pacino did not say this.

The comedian Emo Philips claims it as his own in a Guardian Article from September 2005 entitled "The best god joke ever" (Incidentally, the title does not claim the quoted joke as the best God joke ever)

[...] possible effect if the British government goes ahead with its intention to outlaw "offensive" religious jokes [...] So I hope the ban never goes into effect. But in case it does, I had better seize this last glorious moment to tell the rest of my religious jokes. Here goes:

  • When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised, the Lord doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me ... and I got it!

This was originally said as part of a show, reported as from 1985 and can be viewed on youtube. Commedians are usually careful to not rip-off someone elses jokes, so it is safe to assume this was his own material.

  • 4
    And, not part of the answer but fun nonetheless - google search for the Lord doesn't work that way. al pacino = 285,000 results. the Lord doesn't work that way. emo philips = 65,500 results. There's misattribution, and then there's MISATTRIBUTION!!! – Jamiec Nov 10 '15 at 17:28

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