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Just saw this on Facebook, thought I'd better check that it's for real before sharing.

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"His pointed finger circled my puckered love cave. 'Are you ready for this?' he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to ear her three-legged young." - 50 Shades of Grey

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    Here's a claim that it's fake, also. Maybe someone with the ebook can just run a text search? (I know, that would mean admitting you have the book...) – Is Begot Apr 29 '15 at 19:25
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    goodreads.com/topic/show/… - more people saying that this particular quote is fake. – Kreiri Apr 29 '15 at 19:26
  • Textsearch: From many versions of the book, got 0 matches. Maybe it is from the movie? – George Chalhoub Apr 29 '15 at 19:30
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    @georgechalhoub In the movie wouldn't the line be just "Are you ready for this?" Unless there is a scene in the movie where they are torturing each other by reading really bad erotic fiction. Which would be meta-ironic. – DJClayworth Apr 29 '15 at 21:05
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    One of these books everyone makes fun of but noone actually read. – Philipp Apr 30 '15 at 8:35
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The short answer: no, this quote doesn't appear in the book.

To prove that to yourself all you have to do is an experiment, you need to download a neat searchable version of the book anywhere online, open it in Chrome or any PDF reader, Ctrl+F or Cmd+F, and attempt to find the quote. One can see that:

  • The word hamster doesn't occur anywhere in the book.

  • The word cave doesn't occur anywhere in the book.

  • The verb pucker doesn't occur anywhere in the book.

  • The term legged young doesn't occur anywhere in the book.

Moreover, this quote seems to be extracted from Re-Living The Dream by member 87JPR87 rated Fiction M (Mature) published on fanfiction.net:

''What? It's good!''

''More like Fifty shades of awful...'' She mumbled, idly flipping through the pages, snorting as she read through it. ''Listen to this; 'His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. "Are you ready for this?" he mewled, smirking at me like a mother hamster about to eat her three-legged young.'...''

Bryan snorted loudly opposite her as the rest of the table descended into laughter, Alexa continuing her rant.

''Puckered love cave? I mean, what the actual fuck? I've read better stuff on a bathroom stall... 'He's going to kiss me there!'... 'He gives me a wicked grin, the effects of which travel all the way down there'.. Clitoris! Just say it!''

It is clear now that the quote is fictional.

Therefore, this quote is fake and does not appear anywhere in the book.

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    @dwjohnston, you welcome. I also have found the source of the quote, it was written by Alexa Torres here. – George Chalhoub Apr 29 '15 at 21:24
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    Just want to point out that the author of that fan fiction is "87JPR87" while Alexa is one of the character in the story. Other than that, solid answer. – Andrew T. Apr 30 '15 at 17:19

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